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Most of the time we are the only person standing in our own way.  It’s time to move, don’t you think? No, life is not easy, but fighting against it doesn’t make it easier; it only results in you being miserable. Just because you accept reality and do your best to move through life, it does not mean that you have given up. It means you are keeping negative emotions and thoughts in-check while doing your best.
 
Reality is like a huge stone rolling down a hill. Wishing will not make it change its course. Worry and fretting mentally is no more effective than wishing a ball you throw up in the air, will not come back down.
 
Fighting against reality leads to unhappiness.
 
Try these tips instead:

1. Be humble. The universe is massive...infinite. It is everything we see, feel, touch and sense…galaxies, stars, planets… that we may never experience.  It is everything beyond our physical senses and what we know as human beings.  Earth is but a tiny speck circling one star among billions of stars. For you to think that you know how things should be might be just a tad on the arrogant side, don’t you think?

 

• Most of the unhappiness in your life is because things aren’t the way you think they should be. You think you should be with a certain person, have a specific job, drive a specific car, have a particular body shape, social life, and mood.
  
  
• Maybe things are exactly the way they should be.
  
  
• It is what it is. You can’t push a noodle up a hill. You can’t play in the NBA if you are 67 years old and 5-ft. When you can’t see the reality of the world, you repeat your mistakes. It doesn’t matter how many times you try out for the NFL after getting your senior citizen discount at the movies; it’s not going to happen.
  
  
• What’s done is done. Bad relationship? Whining and complaining about it won’t help. Lost an important tournament? Failed a test? Your tears will not change a thing. Let it go! Look forward to the next adventure.
  
  
• Focus on what you can change. You can’t change the color of your skin, your age, your family, other people, or the weather. Keep your focus on what you can affect.

 

• Thinking and worrying about the things you cannot control, and getting upset about them, is detrimental. You feel worse than you did when you started. You also feel more hopeless and less in control of your life.

 

1. Pain is part of life, but suffering is optional. Struggling is a type of suffering. Things will happen that you perceive negatively. Someone will back into your car, or you’ll spill coffee on your favorite outfit. Whether you allow the outcome to upset you is entirely within your power.
   
   
2. Your self-talk changes your reality. Reality is reality, regardless of your thoughts, but your perception of reality is affected negatively when your self-talk is negative. Either keep your self-talk positive or be aware enough that you keep silent.

 
The secret to inner peace is to stop fighting against reality. You will never win when you do this. Reality always wins when you struggle against it. That is an immutable fact. Rather than struggle, let go of your expectations. If you do not have expectations, you will not be disappointed.
 
Life is life – it is large; it is extraordinary; it is difficult; it is overwhelming; it is awesome; it is life! It does not pass anyone by, and no one gets through it without being touched by the brunt of it. But, remember, you are part of this amazing, infinite energy, so flow with it!


​Melody Edwards