Do you try to help everyone at the expense of your own needs? Do you try to make others happy to avoid confrontation? Do you feel guilty when you put yourself first? If so, you’re a people pleaser.
Trying to make others happy at your own expense is a poor way to spend your time and energy. If you’re looking out for everyone else, who has your best interests at heart? You might think you’re trying to be nice, but that’s not the full story.
People-pleasers feel a need to make others happy, but the motive isn’t entirely altruistic. People-pleasers are attempting to avoid confrontation. When they do something nice for another person, they feel important and it makes them feel good about themselves. Meanwhile, their own lives are unravelling.
People pleasers lose the respect of others. When you don’t respect your time or your needs, no one else will either. You’re training people to treat you badly.
Avoid pleasing others and please yourself for a change:
What you think you gain from trying to please people, will never outweigh the costs. Learn to get love and validate yourself. You don’t have to please others to feel good about yourself. Stop neglecting yourself and pay attention to your own needs. You deserve as much as anyone else.